Gifts: part 1.

 Mmm-kay, Kids… We are going to talk about gifts today. No, not the kind YOU give at Birthdays, Holidays, Special Occasions, Anniversary's, Social Events and what not. I mean "Gifting's", like the kind you possess, hone and craft to show how lovely and talented… oh, and Important you are to the world. Then of course there is by these gifting's you show absolute Glory to God for dropping said Gift into your existence. Ok… So what do I show?

 Wow! That is the smakeroo isn't it? ANNND… to top it off as to kinda slap you again, you get multiple gifts and you have absolutely no clue as to how to share them or even recognize what your gifts are. Oh, and check this… some people run around denying their gifts, never to know the shear magnitude God want's to bless into their Life. Well… I've been wrestling with what my gifts are. All my life, everyone around me tells me what they think my gifts are. But I just don't know. Then I think, "Hea, I feel like I have a seldom touched gift in me I'd like to explore, I've shown exceptional talents in and around this media, I will dip my toe in and test the water…" But see here is where I'm at… I'm not about "Try" anything. Did you not read the TITLE of my blog? "I don't try anything, I just do it!"

 I'm living this Life without trying. I'm here, in this head, moving to the beat with this body delighted at the breath of life and the wake of a new day. Cycling threw routine after routine, existing in freedom, but not quenched by my status. Remaining ever faithful, ever sure, there is something... something spectacular I am meant to do! Raise your hand if you feel this way… hands all over the,(well let's be honest, I only have so many readers) CITY… are going up right now! Yea, are we ever quenched of our thirst? Do we ever feel completely fulfilled?

 Well the Bible says… Yes, I know! Not the point of this statement, but thank you for your care and understanding. Not my point today, try back tomorrow, perhaps I'll be so moved. Really, I'm not to terribly far from what the Bible says(just wanted to be cheeky for a second), because I want to express a slightly deviated view of the topic at hand.

 "HOW TO RECOGNIZE YOUR GIFTS."

Still with me?

 Good, I was to say the least, a smidge worried. Would you really want to see how this plays out or is this guy so completely out to lunch that it's time to grab mine? Up to you...

 Ok, first. I'm not looking for a pity party or any forms of condolence, so please and thank you. You maybe thinking, "I know you and I know what your gifts are and you have nothing to bitch about"… really? Your wrong. What you may think is a gift for me, may actually be the thing that I hate the most.

 Prime example, I have been told my entire adult life that I am a heck of a Salesman. That I can talk anyone into buying anything. Ok, folks to me, this is not a gift, it's a curse! Gonna drop a few reasons why on ya, hang in there. #1 I hate money, I hate everything about it. The fact that we use it and are slave to it. #2 I'm a good liar and I hate that about myself. #3 I am tired of people telling me I can talk their ear off! "You have a Great Mouthpiece, you can really speak!" Fuck you! I can type too! I know a lil' sign language, wanna see? This subject heats me, can you tell?

 I apologize for my use of profanity, if I have offended your delicate nature… this boat ride is not for you, time to jump ship. 

 Back to the lesson at hand. I used to take pride in owning a living room, office or lunch table. Didn't matter where, I would pull you in, feed you what you may or may not have wanted to hear and you would buy my product… whatever it was. Weed, Alarm Systems, Auto Parts, Pills, Computer's or Upgrades, Holes in your body and the jewelry to go in them, Speed, CD's, Tickets or T-Shirts. I once moved a stolen guitar to a kid who lived three blocks from the origin of said crime… and I was good with that! The heck did I care, I was getting paid!

 I didn't steal the guitar by the way… however I am a pretty good thief, but that's another story. You wanna know the worst part? I had a fixed number in my head that I wanted to get paid… 250.00, good money, fair price and a good mark up since I only paid 100.00 for it from a scared chump(will remain nameless) who ripped it off… cause I told him it was a good idea!("Manipulation", another gift? guess again.) Anyhow, after the transaction was made, I walked away with 460.00 cash, I even waited in their living room as the kid's Dad ran to the ATM. He was so doe eyed, I could have sold him my piece of shit car, sitting just outside, if his kid didn't already have one nicer sitting in the driveway(gotta love car salesmen, my kind of scum).

 The above statement gave absolutely no Glory to God and just remembering it, makes me feel… like I keep un-earthing the dead me, dusting him off, shaking his hand and buying him a drink. That sucks. No, being a salesman is not a gift… at least not for me.

 Now, I know and yes I agree. God has given me a talent for cooking. First born out of necessity to survive and later cultivated by passion to be something more than sustenance. Ok, I'm with that. Now… How do I get paid for this, or better yet how do I share my talent with the World? Then again, why would I want to? The WORLD sucks, really! People are willing to walk right over you as you have your entire life spread out on the sidewalk, desperately trying to fix the new and giant hole in your backpack, that disheveled it's contents, leaving you naked and exposed with all that you have amassed, directly on the floor... No, I'm just unsure if I enjoy being kicked in the nuts repeatedly. The World has a love for doing this to me. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

 So here I am asking, how can I make my gifts work for me? Am I choosing the right one to run with? Am I going to be contented with it's outcome or am I going to hop the next train into interest-ville and take up something new? Here are a list of gifts I may or may not have recognized in myself over time.

Cooking(I love food. Everything about it)
Art(Creating in many different ways)
Music(I love everything about music, instruments, history, culture)
Mechanics/Electronics/Construction(I'm good with my hands)
Agriculture(I'm good with plants, I love the science behind it)
Acting(I'm a good Liar, perhaps in the right media, it's no longer lying)
Writing(I love to write, sometimes life gets in the way and then it spills to the page)
Photography(I have always had a passion for this)
Talking to people(yea, I like to meet people. I love communication)

Dreaming(I used to have wonderful dreams I wanted to fulfill, too long have I put them on hold, till they've all but shut up)

 So now what? What do I do with my list? Find a need, look for that hole and fill it! Easier said than done.

To be continued…

Peace.

Just cause it's so dawg gone funny...

 My lovely wife turned me on to "part 2" of this video collection and I am now a huge fan of The Possum Posse! Check um out! It's dawg gone funny n' such.

Part 1.

Part 2.

"Cause it's a Guy on a Buffalo!!!"

HAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!!

"Cheers!!!"

I will not be rushed...

 Good things come to those who wait.

The Hobo Code and the Chewing Gum...

 There is nothing more... well ok a few things, but seriously! This bugs me to the core! GUM on the bottom of my shoe! That's right folks, Daddy is on a rant... I wanted to come clean spill by guts, leave the blood on the alter and skip away free , blessed and happy. You know... old school. hahahha!

 Naw Son, rules changed... I gotta talk about the un-courtious nature of some of our citizens!

 This works me over. Stepping in GUM is one thing. But then having a giant glob stuck to the bottom of your boot when you gotta ride home on your Harley is something completely different. I jumped on my bike after a stellar performance laid down by the Magnificent and Mighty "The Hobo Code" this evening. They put down the funk, jive, punk, rock and let's toss in a jingle jangle of the "real deal", hard to the freakin' core tonight that would make "Yo Momma" stand up, clap, dance around, light a match and yell out praise to that goodness right there!!! "Of this here band... I tell you what!" They RAWKED!!! Yeah... and then some!

 Rob's vocals were on point! The Man, could be heard, crisp and clean... and no caffeine(awesome Root Beer here BTW. Yeah, best in town!)! Kyle laid it down... DAMN! He is a killer Bass Player! I give it up to him big time! Dave was tight, on hit and his and Kyle's vocals were clear and clean! Rob's guitar? Oh, what can I say, he owned that stage tonight! His big noise, feedback meltdown at the end was mind-blowing! After rockin' a stellar 45min set with "The Heaters" he stayed up there and gave his all! Fantastic Show tonight, marked a reunion for the "Dirtbags and Dust Bunnys"! All were in attendance to support our favorite "HomoSapiens!"Great times and great memories! "Cheers!!!"

 But then, I am outside saying my goodbyes, given hugs and obtaining blessing and prayer for my long ride home(takes 10min, but whatever). So yeah, I start my Harley, kick her into first and away I go. Then I notice, my foot is stuck to the peg. "What??? Crap!!!" My foot it stuck to the peg and shifting is gonna be a problem! Now... If you are anything like me, you do not want an obstacle in your way, that clearly does not need to be there... but it is! This wad of GUM wanted to ruin my entire evening and perhaps my safe ride home. But, um... no sir, that's not me and I ain't goin' out like that!

 I pulled over, grabbed a stick worked off what I could, said a prayer and got back on the road! I have the safety, love and grace of Jesus over me and I will not be flawed! Long story short and what not, I made it home...

The remaining gum on my boot.

 But I'm fired up!!! About what kind of "Silly half-sack, crazy nut, dirt diggin', triflin', AAAAHHHH" fool leaves a giant wad of chewing GUM on the sidewalk or street so someone else can come by and step in it!?!?! I'll tell ya what kind... a little kid, that's what kind!

 On closer inspection of said matter, it was a wad of "Strawberry"(I can smell it!) Hubba Bubba or Big League Chew. You know the kind kids wanna make a big chewing wad mess of... yeah, and I stepped in it! Great! So now, my anger level has come waaaaaaaayyyy down. The RAGE is over and I am humble once again. See, I don't get mad at children. They just don't know any better sometimes... My kids! No, they know better... but I just can't say the same for other kids in the community.

 Folks, if you have kids and you are gonna let them have a big wad of mess like that, be in control of what they do with it! Make sure they dispose of it properly! Cause the next biker that steps in a wad like that, may not be so nice! He may not be a Christian and being as such... well, it may not be so pretty when he talks about the entire transaction later over beers with his buddies. There maybe a story of missing teeth and cleaning of the bottom of his boot with a tongue or some other soft and moist object... (I know right, yeah I did type that! It's in your mind, now... chew on it. hahahahaha!)

 So anyhow, not a bad night at all... glad I got to get that off my chest and glad I got to have such a fun evening with my friends! Sorry if I had ya built up to receive a huge dose of my past dramas and dilemmas, but this needed to be heard and it was fresh... fresh as the gooey mess I still have to remove from the bottom of my boot.


Anyhow..."Cheers!!!"



---Say, um if at any time during my blog you wanna chime in and drop some words of advice, correction or just wanna say "Hi". Please feel free. You know, constructive criticism is vital to a young, ok not so young writer looking to see if he captures any level of interest or not. So um, yeah... hook it up with a comment already!---

Love you all!

-Rob.

Be expecting...

 Not that I plan to use this blog as a confessional, but um... yea, layers are wanting to peal off. Crap that I have harbored for too may years is wanting out and gone. Givin' it to God and setting this captive free!

so um, be expecting...

That is all for now.

.PEACE.

Sharing Testimony...

 Wow, it's so crazy to hear yourself admit to someone the struggles you have when you are sharing testimony with them... Hi my name is Rob and I am a Drug Addict/Alcoholic. But by the power of God and my Faith in his Love, I don't struggle like I used to anymore. Can I "legally" say I'm not tempted…NO. There is always temptation, it's what we do when that sin nature creeps up on you, that sets us apart. Do I have all the answers… No. Thank God I have been given the resources to find them. Sure I don't struggle like I used to and I don't have the cravings like I used to, but every now and then there is a voice that try's to talk me into it... I know that voice very well... It's my own. It's what happens when my flesh gets weak to temptation and tries to over power my Spirit. It's those times that I trust in the word the most! God's word will quiet the voice... every time! It builds my Spirit Man up and keeps my mind and heart right!

 I recently shared my testimony with a very close friends mother yesterday. I'm still reeling from the level of disclosure I offered. It was like a valve was opened and all I could do was continue to pour it out. I even confessed to having lied about something for so long it was hard to discern the truth from the lie. (the following is just that)

 It was 1994, I was involved with some people(drug dealers) who were not so nice and I used to go to them to purchase my drugs(for distribution and personal use). Well one lovely afternoon, while I was supposed to be at work, I stopped in to pick up an "Ounce" of Speed(Meth if you are not sure of what I am talking about), so I could make it threw my job that evening without issue. I worked for a company called "Murphy's Express" we delivered VHS movies to your home after you phoned in an order. Not a bad gig, but the hours kinda sucked. So anyhow, there I am purchasing my drugs in a hurry, clamoring to leave when I forget the golden rule #2 on a pick up… "always party your supplier a quick rail before you bail". Well having been in a hurry and on the clock I put my bag in my pocket and made for the door. My dealer jumped up and was like, "Hea, don't you wanna party real quick before you just jet off?". That should have been my cue. But I replied, "Naw I'm good, I gotta get back to work." Opened the door and walked outside. Rule #1 "Never trust a junkie!" I no sooner stepped off the porch when I caught a fist to the back of the head. I went down to the grass and mud and proceeded to catch a serious ass wooping. The entire time I've got three speed freaks kicking the shit out me and a thwacked out broad yelling, "Yeah, that's what you get for disrespecting up in my house MF'er!" (she didn't even live there, she was just dudes girlfriend) So anyhow… this is where the lie part comes in.

 I was on the clock back at Murphy's, I had a bag full of movies that I needed to deliver between two houses just south east of Belmont and maple. When I got back up from the fetal position I was in in the front yard. A plan began to formulate in my mind. Give them(my dealer and his old lady) the movies, apologize for the "dis-respect" and tell the boss(back at Murphy's) you got jumped in the hood and the movies got taken. Sounds good, get's me good on all fronts.

 So I did… Gave up the movies and apologies, partied everyone in the house a nice fat gagger and headed off to work. As I drove back to my job, the plan was very clear in my head what I needed to do. Go directly into the office and play out this huge drama... The first time I told that lie, was when I walked in the door. Then after I was given the rest of the night off, I re-told the story to my Mother, to explain why I was home so early, then I told a friend and another friend and another till finally it was the only truth I knew. I even re-told the story, much later in life, when talking about my time having worked for Murphy's Express.

 Until the real memory came back and I admitted the truth for the first time, yesterday... to my friends Mother.

 I'm glad God opened my heart to let that burden of that lie and dark piece of my history come out. I feel a level of freedom. I just wonder what other forgotten truths are going to surface next. Time will tell...

Peace.

A return to the satyrical documentation I call Life...

Yes friends... I'm back! Your friend and humble narrator has been suffering lack... No, not of positive events or even social gatherings, just simply a lack for what to say. You see friends, I... have had writers block. HAHAHAHAHA! Can you imagine? The cat who can yammer on and on about the difference's in absorbency, quality, value and strength between Brawny and Target brand paper towels, has been suffering for words to put to screen. Lately, I feel as though I haven't had a moment to compile thought in my head, what with chasing children and crying baby, looking for work and having one social event after another every weekend, it has felt like there has been hardly enough time to breathe. I know, I know...boo-hoo you. Woe is me... Well no more. You see I have wonderful happenings and not so, to document and disclose for your reading pleasure! All of which begin with the starting of two wonderful kids lives together.

Yes, I'm talking about the wedding of my cousin Andrea to her best friend and father of her child, Christian. What can I say, it was a fantastic time! The wedding took place in Ben Lomond, California. If you are not familiar with the area, let's just call it the Santa Cruz hills, just before Capitola. They reserved a fantastic house in the middle of a park there to have the wedding and reception. My family did all the cooking and decorations. I was in-charge of the BBQ, shocker I know... The kids waited till sunset to have the ceremony, a setting I'm finding to be quite popular with young Brides and Grooms as of late. Everything went off without a hitch. The reception was fun and lite, there was food and libations, dancing and even a candy table(something else I'm finding is quite popular amongst young weddings lately). It was a child friendly event, my youngest Son being the ring bearer and his little cousin, Andrea and Christian's Daughter, Presley the flower girl. They all spent the evening running around having a blast. Great Time!

  Now, on to the not so wonderful happening's of the same weekend. This event took place far from my Grandparents home, thus causing them the need to drive a great distance to attend. My Grandfather has not been in the best of health lately and needed to visit the doctor prior to embarking on said journey. He did and at said appointment was switched to a new medication, one he has never taken before and was not aware of its side effects. Well, long story short and allot of suffering on my Grandfathers behalf, this adventure landed him directly into the emergency room of our local VA hospital upon his return to our lovely home town. Where he spent the next week hooked up to machines and suffering from renal failure. A fate that could have been avoided had the proper care been administered to him in the first place. I'm not pointing fingers, nor do I wish to open any can o' worms, but this did not need to happen. Well, after much prayer and many days of work by many hands, my Grandfather is back home resting and re-gaining his strength. Praise God for that!

Ok, on to some more happy times! Having not been around to host our Annual Forth of July BBQ and Party. My lovely Wife came up with the idea, "Let's host a July 24th party!" I said, "Rock on and let's do it!" What a fantastic time, it went off without a hitch. We had tons of food, friends and laughs! Around 50 people in attendance, including men, women and children(the children out numbering the adults). We ate, we swam, we laughed and even ate Alcohol infused whipped cream... hahahaha! Great time had by all! Who would have know a group of God lovin', Bible thumpin', Church goin' folks could have so much fun on a Sunday evening after Church!?!?! WE DID!!! I love this group of people, they are family, not just "Church Family", but Family! "Cheers to all you Crazies who came!!!" And to those who were unable to make it... Summer ain't over yet!

 Peace, Love and Chicken Grease!!!